Are Starfleet Officers Allowed To Date On Star Trek?
by Witney Seibold · /FilmAdd SlashFilm on Google:
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Welcome to Trekspertise, a series where we break down the technology, history, details, and decisions that make the Star Trek universe so complex — and so fun.
There are many episodes throughout the "Star Trek" franchise wherein Starfleet officers merrily fraternize. One might immediately recall the "Star Trek: The Next Generation" episode "The Naked Now," in which Tasha Yar (Denise Crosby) became infected with an intoxicating virus and seduced Data (Brent Spiner). Or the episode "In Theory," wherein Data began an experimental romance with officer Jenna D'Sora (Michele Scarabelli).
"Star Trek" has also been full of full-blown marriages. Commander Riker (Jonathan Frakes) married Counselor Troi (Marina Sirtis) on in the "Next Generation" movies. On "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine," Worf (Michael Dorn) married Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell), which, incidentally, proved to be easy character development for the actors because the romance didn't have to be forced. Furthermore, on "Star Trek: Voyager," Tom Paris (Robert Duncan McNeill) married B'Elanna Torres (Roxann Dawson).
There are additional examples of relationships as well, but Starfleet is a military organization, and there are some regulations in place about dating fellow officers, right? It seems evident, just on the surface, that there would be a conflict of interest at play if, say, a starship captain were to begin dating an ensign under his command. There would be no way to assuage any sense of favoritism when both officers were on the clock.
The actual regulations regarding sexual and romantic relations on "Star Trek" are rarely stated outright, although in the "Voyager" episode "The Disease," it was noted that there is a "Starfleet Handbook on Personal Relationships," and that it is three centimeters thick. This handbook presumably contains everything a Starfleet officer needs to know about dating fellow officers, marrying crewmates, or even having flings with aliens.
How it works in the actual military
Sadly, the "Starfleet Handbook on Personal Relationships" is not part of published real-world expanded universe lore like the "Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual," so we cannot thumb through to find actual details. The Handbook was quoted in "The Disease," however, as saying:
"All Starfleet personnel must obtain authorization from their C.O. as well as clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species."
(Sadly, there are no conversations in any "Star Trek" episodes that begin with "Hey, doc. I'd like to boink an alien.")
Starfleet is run like a space Navy, so I reached out to a friend in the modern American military to find out a few general rules about naval regulations on fraternization, assuming that similar rules would also apply in the fictional world of "Star Trek." She said that fraternization is taken very seriously in the Navy, and that naval personnel can indeed date, but that they must follow many, many rules.
For instance, a ranked officer cannot date a non-commissioned officer or enlisted officer. On "Star Trek," that means that a Starfleet Academy graduate couldn't date, say, a transporter chief or a security officer. If two married people become officers after they're married, however, they are allowed to stay married, of course.
My friend also noted that no married officers are allowed to have extramarital affairs with anyone, and that you cannot date anyone in your "rating chain." That is to say, a lieutenant couldn't date a ship's captain if the captain will be, at some point, rating their performance. And a captain cannot have an affair with anyone who serves on their ship.
You're not allowed to date someone you command
But in our example, Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart) could date Dr. Crusher (Gates McFadden), because medical officers are exceptions when it comes to the chain of command. That chain of command is vital when considering who gets to date whom.
Captain Kirk (William Shatner), then, by modern Naval standards, is not allowed to date anyone who serves on his ship. My friend in the military noted that she could have dated a lower-ranking officer, like an ensign, provided that ensign wasn't assigned to her staff section. She also noted, though, that while this kind of dating is allowed, it's not considered very wise. It's like dating someone on your dorm floor: If you break up, you'll still have to see them every day.
These stringent rules still seem to be in place in the 24th century. One might note that all the above marriages on "Star Trek" have been between fellow officers who work in different departments, and who aren't in one another's rating chains. Riker, for instance, is a command officer, while Troi is technically in the science/medical division. Ditto Worf and Dax, who are command and sciences, respectively. Paris, too, is on the command track, while Torres is an engineer, and only holds a provisional field rank anyway. What is a provisional field rank? We get into that in this explanatory article about how to tell a Starfleet officer's rank at a glance.
But all these rules explain why there are several instances of Starfleet captains dating civilians; Captain Sisko (Avery Brooks) dating Kasidy Yates (Penny Johnson Jerald), for instance. No civilian is (presumably) bound to strict naval/Starfleet dating regulations.