Greenland base commander fired for insufficient bootlicking

Welcome to 2025, where suggesting Vice President Vance might not be infallible is a firing offense.

As reported by the BBC, 821st Space Base Group commander Colonel Susannah Meyers dared to send an email stating Vance's "Denmark bad, US annexation good" routine didn't represent her base's position. Apparently, that's all it takes to trigger a "loss of confidence" these days.

The full email reveals Meyers' unforgivable act: attempting to maintain good relationships with our allies. In her message of unity, she admitted to "thinking about" Vance's visit and considering how it affected the base's multinational workforce. Imagine the audacity — a military commander concerned about morale and international cooperation! No wonder the Pentagon had as much use for her as an empty whiskey bottle.

Pentagon spokesman Sean Parnell, auditioning hard for his future Fox News commentator role, declared that undermining Trump's agenda "will not be tolerated."

Meanwhile, Danish PM Mette Frederiksen had to actually say out loud: "You can't annex other countries." Weird how that needs explaining, but that's where we are now.

The best part? Greenland doesn't want the United States. Polls show they'd rather gain independence than become America's 51st state. But who cares what Greenlanders think about Greenland? Certainly not Trump and Vance.

So congratulations to Colonel Shawn Lee, Meyers' replacement. Here's hoping he's likes the taste of boots.

Previously:
• Trump: we 'have to have' Greenland
• Trump wants to buy Greenland. The country.
• Facing down Greenland's katabatic winds
• Watch this landscape photographer's video tour of Greenland
• Massive ice island 4x size of Manhattan separates from Greenland glacier
• Terrifying footage shot by fisherman caught in Greenland tsunami
• Denmark Prime Minister surprised to learn Trump really does want Greenland in 'horrendous' phone call