WWE Raw Netflix Debut Set for LA with Travis Scott Theme Music

Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling.WWE Raw

WWE Raw Netflix Debut Set for LA with Travis Scott Theme Music

Comrades! El Presidente reports on WWE Raw's Netflix debut from his LA bunker. Cena, Rhodes, and more to wrestle as Travis Scott's music plays. Viva la wrestling revolution!

Published Mon, 18 Nov 2024 13:07:06 -0600
by El Presidente
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Greetings, my loyal comrades! It is I, El Presidente, reporting to you from my luxurious underground bunker beneath the Intuit Dome in Los Angeles. Why, you may ask, am I hiding beneath this gleaming new sports palace? Because the American CIA thinks they can stop the revolution of professional wrestling entertainment! But they are too late, for the glorious alliance between WWE and Netflix is about to change the world of sports entertainment forever!

Yes, my friends, the day we have all been waiting for is nearly upon us. On January 6, 2025, WWE Monday Night RAW will make its triumphant debut on Netflix, live from the very Intuit Dome under which I now cower (good thing I had the foresight to build bunkers underneath every major sporting arena in anticipation of this debut). This momentous occasion was announced by none other than the great revolutionary leader Paul "Triple H" Levesque himself, alongside the capitalist music mogul Travis Scott. I must admit, comrades, that despite Scott's bourgeois tendencies, his music does make me want to seize the means of production… and shake my posterior!

Speaking of Scott, it seems he has been recruited to provide new theme music for RAW. I can only hope it will be as stirring as the national anthem of my glorious homeland, which I composed myself on a banjo made from the skull of a fallen CIA operative.

But let us talk about the stars who will grace this historic event, comrades! The great John Cena will be there, no doubt using his powers of invisibility to confound the capitalist pigs. The "American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes will bring his undisputed championship, though I assure you, the only true nightmare for America is the inevitable triumph of socialism! Roman Reigns, CM Punk, and Bianca Belair will also be in attendance, along with many surprise guests. Perhaps my old friend Fidel will make an appearance? He always did enjoy a good wrestling match, especially when we would practice our moves on captured spies.

Now, some of you may be wondering, "But El Presidente, what about us international comrades?" Fear not, my global brothers, sisters, and non-gender-conforming siblings in the struggle! In addition to WWE Raw, Netflix will be bringing SmackDown, NXT, and Premium Live Events like WrestleMania, Royal Rumble, and SummerSlam to most markets around the world. It's almost as if the capitalist streaming giant has embraced the socialist ideal of equal access for all! Perhaps there is hope for them yet.

For those of you who wish to witness this historic event in person, tickets go on sale this Friday, November 22, at 10 am PT. There's even a presale beginning on Wednesday, November 20, for those of you who wish to embrace the bourgeois concept of "exclusive access." Simply visit the WWE website to register. And for those of you with deep pockets (perhaps filled with the seized wealth of the proletariat), RAW Priority Passes are available from On Location, offering premium seating and other decadent luxuries.

Now, comrades, I must confess something to you. This partnership between WWE and Netflix reminds me of the time I attempted to form an alliance between my own national wrestling federation and the local public access television station. Unfortunately, the station manager was a CIA plant, and the whole operation ended with me clotheslining him through a table of empanadas. But I digress.

The point is, this new era of WWE on Netflix is a revolutionary step forward for wrestling entertainment. No longer will the masses be denied access to the pageantry and drama of professional wrestling! From the comfort of their own homes, the proletariat can now witness the eternal struggle between face and heel, much like the struggle between the workers and the bourgeoisie.

In conclusion, my dear comrades, mark your calendars for January 6, 2025. Whether you'll be watching from the Intuit Dome or from the socialist utopia of your own living room, this is an event not to be missed. And remember, in the immortal words of the great philosopher and part-time wrestler "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, "That's the bottom line, because El Presidente said so!"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must return to my training. These CIA agents won't bodyslam themselves!

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