Trump Proclaims America ‘IS HEALING’ as Markets Craters Post-Tariffs

Donald Trump upended the global economy on Wednesday by announcing a sweeping package of tariffs on goods imported into the United States. The move is expected to significantly increase the price of foreign-produced goods — from produce, to alcohol, to cars, and beyond.

The White House seemed to be well aware of the likelihood the announcement would create massive economic chaos, as it delayed the president’s “Liberation Day” event until after the markets closed for the day. They reopened on Thursday, though, and … yeah, it’s not looking good.

The S&P 500 is on track for its worst day in two years, quickly dropping 3.6 percent, while the Dow Jones Industrial Average and the Nasdaq both dropped over 3 percent. Several major multinational corporations were hit hard, as well, with equities that declined outnumbering equities that saw gains by 6 to 1, per CNBC.

Trump, meanwhile, is proclaiming victory — apparently based on the fact that the United States continues to exist the morning after he threw a grenade into the economy. “THE OPERATION IS OVER! THE PATIENT LIVED, AND IS HEALING,” he wrote on Truth Social. “THE PROGNOSIS IS THAT THE PATIENT WILL BE FAR STRONGER, BIGGER, BETTER, AND MORE RESILIENT THAN EVER BEFORE. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!”

Trump’s minions have been blitzing news programs to do damage control.

Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins went on Fox Business to proclaim a “whole new world” because of Trump’s “Liberation Day,” as the network displayed tickers showing sharp declines of the S&P, Dow, and Nasdaq next to her as she spoke. “We are really, really excited, and very grateful for President Trump’s leadership,” Rollins said.

Billionaire Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick went on CBS to laud how the tariffs will turn the United States into “the most extraordinary, the most powerful place” and that “Americans are behind Donald Trump.” When asked how long Americans are going to have to wait to start feeling the supposed benefits of Trump’s tariffs, Lutnik said at least some of them will be immediate: “You’re going to see employment leaping starting today.”

Stellantis NV, which owns Chrysler and makes Ram trucks and Jeeps, announced around the same time Lutnick was speaking that the company is temporarily laying off 900 workers at five U.S. facilities as a result of Trump’s tariffs, and is pausing production at two plants in Canada and Mexico.

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Rollins and Lutnick both acknowledged that the tariffs will mean higher prices for Americans. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, who has previously admitted prices will go up as a result of the tariffs, seemed hesitant to do so while speaking with CNN Wednesday night, suggesting absurdly that maybe businesses will just eat the costs themselves. He didn’t have a clear answer when asked where he expected the markets to open on Thursday. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know where it’s going to open tomorrow, I don’t know where it’s going to close tomorrow.”

Well, now we know the first answer.