Linda Nolan shares her 'only regret in life' in heartbreaking interview with sister Anne

We were saddened to hear the news of yet another life lost to the cruel disease of cancer, this time the brave Linda Nolan who fought a heroic battle against breast cancer for a harrowing 20 years.

Linda has always been refreshingly open and honest about her cancer journey and in this interview with RSVP Magazine back in June of 2021, Linda and her sister Anne opened up about receiving devastating cancer devastating cancer diagnoses within days of each other in March 2020.

They opened up about their illness, why it has brought them even closer to each other and their siblings Denise, Coleen and Maureen – and how their sister Bernie who died from the disease in 2013, is never far from their thoughts.

Read more: Coleen Nolan 'utterly devastated' as she pays heartbreaking tribute to sister Linda

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Linda, last year you were told that your incurable secondary breast cancer spread from your hip to your liver and, Anne, you were diagnosed with stage three breast cancer – both within days of each other. Can you tell us about your treatment so far?

Anne: I had chemotherapy, radiotherapy and an operation but they are all finished with and I am currently taking an immunology drug called Herceptin once every three weeks. And then I am taking another drug once every six months for three years to try and prevent the cancer from coming back in my bones. But apart from that, I am finished with treatment. They couldn’t find any traces of cancer in my last scan.

Linda: My chemo was palliative because my cancer was treatable but not curable. Because Anne’s was a new cancer, they threw everything at her and she was really ill during her treatment. I had injections after each session and they were very painful. But for me, it is about keeping me here for a long time.

Your book Stronger Together has been well received, what was it like to dig into your past and pen your journey?

L: It was difficult revisiting old memories that you thought you had put to bed, like the death of my husband Brian. Personally, when I was asked to write the book I wanted it to be honest and I wanted to mix the good with the bad.

A: It was quite exhausting, both physically and mentally.

After being told that your cancer is not curable, have you thought about the future and made any plans, Linda?

I am living day to day and I am very grateful when I open my eyes and I am here to live another day. I want to spend as much time as possible with my family and enjoy every moment.

When your cancer returned, was there a moment where you thought “why me”?

A: I never thought that at all. Our late sister Bernie said “Why not me?” because lots of people have cancer and it comes back for them.

L: I have said “I wish I didn’t have cancer” but I never said “Why me?”. There is no answer to that question. Nowadays, there are more people living with cancer than dying from cancer.

Anne, after being told that no cancer was detected in your latest scan, is it important to celebrate when there is some good news?

A : I think it is very important to live life the way you want to and to appreciate how great the world really is. I have spoken to my daughters about my future and they always say “We don’t want to talk about that now” but we have to talk about it at some point. They don’t want to talk about me dying so I won’t push that issue unless they want to.

L: Our sister Denise has an app so we don’t have to phone everyone individually to give them updates on how we are, she does that for us. As well as informing our family about the worrying updates, I do think that it is important to let everyone know when the news is good too. Good news is really important.

Has this journey brought you closer together, being diagnosed with cancer again just a few days apart?

A: We are all sisters and we love each other. When you go through something like this together, it is bound to form another kind of bond. I know, to some degree, what Linda is feeling and the same goes for her with me.

L: When Anne was diagnosed with cancer, our sister Maureen went to live with her, and Denise and her partner Tom invited me to live with them. But because of the Covid-19 restrictions they couldn’t come into the hospital with us so going in and seeing Anne was good for me and we could have a chat. Having treatment together has made us closer, we have a special bond.

You bravely took part in a joint photoshoot last year after losing your hair to cancer treatment. That must have been inspiring to so many women because your hair is a symbol of beauty and femininity.

L: I was absolutely traumatised when I lost my hair and I waited until the very last minute before shaving my head. It got to the point where I looked worse with the tufts of hair that I had and I was hiding it with a baseball cap. I was also embarrassed about worrying about my hair when the chemo was saving my life.

A: I didn’t want to lose my hair but I really had more things on my mind. In the beginning my hair was really annoying. I was waking up and my pillow would be covered in hair and it would be in my mouth when I was showering. In the end I just shaved it all off because I was going to lose it anyway. I know it is hard for men too, but you often see bald men on the street, you don’t see bald women.

Do you think the taboos of women losing their hair because of chemotherapy and women having their breasts removed after a mastectomy are disappearing?

A: Absolutely! The best thing for anybody dealing with cancer is to talk about it but that can be hard for some people. For others, it is a great help to get it out there and you realise that having no hair or having a mastectomy are not something to be ashamed of.

L: I have been attending counselling for a long time now and it has really helped me. It is a lonely road to do this on your own, especially during the pandemic with nobody allowed into the hospital with you.

Are a lot of the terms we have mentioned so far – incurable, chemotherapy and palliative care – scary when you hear them first?

L: I was in Belfast when I first found out that I had been diagnosed with cancer in 2006; I was doing a pantomime there. I met a consultant in the hospital and he confirmed that I had breast cancer and I was told that I needed a mastectomy and chemotherapy. Hearing those words being said to me, it was a really surreal experience. When my cancer came back in 2017 I went to see my consultant and the breast care nurse, Sarah, was there with me. She said, “I have a piece of paper here and I don’t want you to panic when you see some of the words on it.” She handed me the paper, it said “palliative chemotherapy” and I cried. It was such a shock seeing those words. Recently, I had to change the dosage of my tablets because I was getting tongue-tied. I told my doctor not to lower the dosage if it was going to affect my treatment and he said it was all about “quality of life”. Again, I panicked. He must have seen my face and he told me we were in this for a marathon, not a sprint. He turned it around, that was a much nicer statement to hear.

A: I remember somebody asked me out of the blue, “What is chemotherapy like, does it hurt?” I was taken aback by that question but I explained that it didn’t hurt and you don’t feel anything. It is the after effects that are not pleasant, but in my case the actual administration of it didn’t hurt.

Your sister Bernie sadly passed away from cancer in 2013, do you often think of her?

A: I think of her every day.

L: When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2006, I phoned Anne and asked her all of those questions about treatment and Bernie did the same when she got sick. I had a mastectomy and Bernie and I chatted about that and our experiences. When I had my head shaved this time, I looked in the mirror and I saw Bernie looking back at me because she had no hair when she died. Part of me thought that she was here and it was a sign.

When you were writing the book, did any regrets from your lives pop up?

A: I regret falling out with my sisters all those years ago.

L: Me too!

A: Other than that, I don’t have any regrets and I don’t think there is much point in having regrets because you can’t change anything in the past. You need to live in the present and live for the day.

L: My only regret in life is that I didn’t have children and that is nobody’s fault but my own. The reason I didn’t have children is because I let my career get in the way and I thought, “No, I will wait.” But I don’t dwell on it and I don’t cry whenever I see a baby.

You both live close by to your sisters, isn’t that right?

A: We live about five minutes from each other in Blackpool, except for Coleen who lives in Cheshire, northwest England. We have a family group chat which we use every day and we are always swapping stories.

L: During lockdown, we did a family quiz three times a week. And the moment we could have six people together, we had a little tea party in Denise’s garden. We are very close.

Linda and Anne’s memoir, Stronger Together, is available in bookshops and online now

This interview originally appeared in the June 2021 edition of RSVP Magazine