Here’s A Roundup Of Nikki Glaser’s Best, Dirtiest, And Most Outrageous Jokes From The 2026 Golden Globes — Because I Can’t Believe She Said Some Of These On TV

After her triumphant debut in 2025, Nikki Glaser returned to host the Golden Globes for a second time last night — and, once again, she killed it.

Doing what she does best, Nikki hilariously roasted the star-studded guests and even managed to fit in a K-pop-inspired musical number, too. So, if you didn't get time to watch the show, here's a roundup of her best and most shocking jokes from the night...

1. Welcome to the 83rd Golden Globes... Without a doubt, the most important thing that's happening in the world right now.

2. Just like Wicked, I'm back for a sequel. Just like Frankenstein, I've been pieced together by an unlicensed European surgeon. And just like the podcasters nominated tonight, I should not be allowed to be this close to Julia Roberts.

3. There are so many A-listers here, and by A-listers, I mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted. The Golden Globe for best editing goes to the Justice Department.

4. And the award for most editing goes to CBS News, America’s newest place to see BS news.

5. What a career Leonardo DiCaprio has had. Countless iconic performances, you've worked with every great director, you've won three Golden Globes and an Oscar — and the most impressive thing is you were able to accomplish all that before your girlfriend turned 30.

6. Leo, I'm sorry I made that joke, it's cheap, I tried not to, but we don't know anything else about you, man. There's, like, nothing else. Like, open up, I’m serious, I searched. The most in-depth interview you’ve ever given was to Teen Beat magazine in 1991. Is your favorite food still “pasta, pasta and more pasta?”

7. Kevin [Hart] and the Rock are like my favorite comedy duo... You're like Steve Martin and Martin Short, but for people under-50 IQ... "Jumanji: Next Level" — was it?

8. Sean Penn, you're such an original. Everyone in this town is obsessed with looking younger; meanwhile, Sean Penn is like, "What if I slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag?" It's hot!

9. I feel like a lot of actors talk the talk, but Sean Penn will actually go to the places in the world that need help the most, and he will do cocaine there. And I feel like we don't celebrate that enough. Sean, I did get permission to do that joke from your two best friends, Charlie Sheen and El Chapo.

10. Fun fact: Hamnet was actually the original name for Spanx. I'm wearing three ham-nets right now.

11. George Clooney, you're amazing. I'm such a fan. I've always wanted to ask you this question, it might be unprofessional...but here goes: My Nespresso has been coming out kind of watery, and I'm wondering, is it like a pod issue, or do you think it might be the filter? Could you troubleshoot it for me later?

12. Wicked was back this year, with Wicked: For Money.

13. Once again, Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande gave us two career-defining performances. Two hours into that movie, I was in tears. I was like, "I can't believe there's 45 minutes left."

14. Timothée Chalamet is here for Marty Supreme... He's the first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about ping-pong... He gained over 60 ounces.

15. Did you guys actually know that The White Lotus Season 3 was the first hit show to feature incest since Property Brothers, Season all of them?

16. I can’t believe it, we got two Michael B. Jordans [in Sinners]. When I saw that, I was like, Nikki B. Jerkin’, because that was awesome... I'm sorry, I should not have said that to you; that should've been a DM.

17. It's a privilege to be in this room with you all. Please keep doing what you're doing. Guillermo del Toro, keep making weird monster sex movies. And James Cameron, keep making weird monster sex movies.

18. Noah Wyle, keep being the only doctor I've seen regularly for the past 35 years.

19. Jacob Elordi and Paul Mescal, keep being the same person to my mom.

20. And lastly, Steve Martin and Martin Short, keep proving that in this industry, you're never too old to still need money.

I, for one, nearly spat out my drink at the whole Sean Penn exchange. How was she allowed to say that on TV?!! I also think the Wicked: For Money joke was underrated, too...and don't even get me started on that Epstein files moment.

You can watch Nikki's full monologue here!

Let me know your favorite jokes in the comments section! And while you're here, you should take a look at some of our other Golden Globes coverage, too. Happy awards season!