Sabrina Carpenter Wants Her Stocking Stuffed (by Netflix)

Please, please, presents! Sabrina Carpenter is serving holiday cheer at Netflix this year. A Nonsense Christmas With Sabrina Carpenter will debut on the streamer December 4. Per Tudum, the special will feature tracks off her holiday EP, fruitcake. It includes a festive version of “Nonsense,” with such lines as “Look at all those presents, that’s a big sack / Boy, that package is too big to gift wrap.” The spesh will also feature “guest performing artists, comedic cameos, and unexpected duets.” Maybe Barry Keoghan in an “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” scenario; maybe other stuff, who’s to say! “I am excited to bring my take to a classic holiday variety show,” Carpenter told Netflix, “infusing my love of music and comedy to make something that is uniquely me.”

There was a time when all the celebs had holiday specials. Could you really say you were famous if you didn’t sing an oddly homoerotic version of “A Marshmallow World” with Dean Martin? Carpenter joins an illustrious list of folks trying to bring the Christmas special back, like Stephen Colbert, Kacey Musgraves, and Sofia Coppola. For her effort, more dumb Sabrina Carpenter Christmas puns we came up with while processing this news:

➽ You’ll just have to taste me / ’neath the mistletoe
➽ Who’s the cute boy with the corn-cob pipe and the button nose?
➽ I’m at the North Pole, and you’re not!
➽ That’s that me Ebenezer
➽ He’s working late, ’cause he is Santa
➽ I beg you, don’t say I’m naughty, motherfucker
➽ Idk, something horny about a Yule log going all night