Racist Roasted for Thinking That ‘South Park’ Actually Took A Stand Against ‘Minorities’ at Water Parks
by Keegan Kelly · Cracked.comImagine thinking that Cartman’s apocalyptic piss crisis was ‘based’
July 16, 2025
An alt-right podcaster thinks that Trey Parker and Matt Stone were making an anti-“minority” political statement with the Season 13 South Park episode “Pee.” He’s going to be so pissed when he finds out what didn’t happen in 2012.
The general rule of thumb for engaging with the satire of South Park — yes, South Park is a satirical show — is that, if you find yourself agreeing with Eric Cartman’s bizarre and hateful political stance that week, you’re probably a big fat unloved asshole just like him. Unfortunately, the nature of Parker and Stone’s “both sides are equally dumb” approach to social issues and the collective third-grade reading level of South Park’s sizable following in the far right has led so many South Park fans to believe that Cartman is a cultural prophet whose many prejudices represent the creators’ authorial intent.
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In recent years, the tendency for some South Park fans to wildly misinterpret the series was most commonly demonstrated by the many culture warriors who turned the running joke of “Put a chick in it, make her gay!” from South Park: Joining the Panderverse into an anti-woke rallying cry. However, the media-illiterate right have been missing the point of South Park for decades — see SteveLovesAmmo, who spent the last 16 years believing that “Pee” was about "White Genocide" and not just literal piss.
In the 2009 South Park episode “Pee,” the boys take a trip to the waterpark Pi Pi’s Splashtown where Cartman is shocked to find that the majority of park guests are “minorities,” a word which he believes to mean Black and brown people. Cartman sings this sad ballad about how he’s “forced” to ride waterslides and float in the wave pool while people from the races he hates enjoy the harmless aquatic fun without ever actually bothering him in any way. Meanwhile, Kyle realizes that everybody besides him is peeing in the pools, a trend that causes a piss tsunami that destroys the park and befuddles the American military.
Cartman takes the tidal wave of piss to be an apocalyptic event prophesized by the infamous Mayan calendar centuries earlier. Cartman believes that the apocalypse is actually the point at which non-white races take over the world by outnumbering the white population, glossing over the facts that the supposedly foretold apocalypse wasn’t supposed to happen until 2012 and the Mayans themselves weren’t exactly his favorite brand of Aryan.
Obviously, the piss tsunami didn’t result in the end of the world, but Cartman’s fears about a minority apocalypse sadly do reflect the beliefs of many alt-right morons who have been pushing the Great Replacement conspiracy theory as justification for draconian immigration policies and other racist political causes.
Unfortunately for us South Park fans who graduated high school and don’t have any DUIs, being a part of this community will always mean rubbing shoulders with slack-jawed white supremacists like SteveLovesAmmo, so long as Cartman continues to be the funniest character on the show. I mean, if the President Garrison arc didn’t drive the far right away, nothing will convince these losers that Parker and Stone didn’t write “The Passion of the Jew” as a manifesto.
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