Ireland v France: Dupont, the Divine Comedy and Me - There is Only One F in Foley
by Derek Foley · Irish MirrorDo not adjust your screens, that ball-of-blue, darting through gaps, passing off both hands and bouncing off all but the most robust tackles will, most likely, be French demi-god Antoine Dupont.
Because if Dupont plays well against Ireland, a team that missed 33 tackles against Wales, France will win, have scored 30-plus points and left the skinny plus-one betting handicap as a speck in the day's rear-view mirror.
The pot-size scrum-half's ability to make clean breaks comes with an eagle's eye for gaps at set-pieces and, far more importantly, when the game is in flow.
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A danger augmented by the idea his body was forged in a steel foundry in 1996, and ricochets off others while he has a very valuable rugby asset (as per The Divine Comedy/Neil Hannon's National Express) an arse the size of a small country...
Moreover as Simon Zebo explains from his time in Paris, a Racing 92 whack-mole tactic whereby the plan was that anyone near Dupont should divert and tackle him immediately also proved unendingly, scoreboard disastrous.
It simply doesn't matter whether Dupont ends up credited with too many clean breaks, Plan B will see him draw and hold off defenders and then let the pass go - and he can do this off either hand.
So, deep breath, hopefully...that blur in green will be Josh van der Flier crashing into him here, there and everywhere - that'll help.
Might help as much as France, who still haven't quite learned how to harness the Dupont-effect, might mess up 'helping' him win - they have in the past, Dupont has just one Six Nations winners medal and a World Cup blank to date.
It's been as plain as the gallic noses on some faces that, despite not being able to find a matching no10 for his talents, the collectif aren't half as good as they think they are.
Proven last season when the national hero popped off on a Sevens jolly to the Olympics (taking home a gold medal, naturally).
In that world, an alternate reading of being thrashed by Ireland in Marseilles last year was that their players overrated themselves and under-estimated Dupont's absence.
A hubris moving on to scraping a four-point win against Scotland and a brutal 13-13 draw with Italy in the next two games!
Antoine Je t'adore! has been restored, France setting off by battering Wales 43-0 despite failing to score in the first 15 minutes of each half.
A 26-25 loss to England was a modern travesty not because Fin Smith kicked a last minute winning penalty but France butchered, by any counts, four to six golden try chances alongside actually scoring 25 points at Twickenham.
Last time out, they posted the second largest tournament total in history when, running at almost a point a minute, they beat Italy 73-24 in Rome.
Dupont is here now, albeit with them, enjoy watching him...please god let JVDF be Man of the Match, please God.
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