Liam Manning opens up over tragic loss of son Theo admitting he considered Bristol City future

Liam Manning has admitted he considered quitting his role as Bristol City manager after the tragic loss of his son Theo earlier this season, with the Robins boss opening up about his experience for the first time in an interview with The Guardian.

The Reds announced in October that the 39-year-old would be taking a leave of absence after his baby son Theo John Manning had passed away, which saw him miss just two matches.

Chris Hogg took charge of the first-team for matches against Middlesbrough and Stoke City and Manning has revealed that for a time he wasn't planning to return to the Ashton Gate dugout. But with the support of his wife Fran, the City head coach realised he needed a "purpose" in his life.

“The pregnancy was relatively straightforward,” Manning told The Guardian's Ben Fisher. “I shot off from here, Fran spent the whole Friday night in labour and our little miracle was born on the Saturday morning. I did the Cardiff game on the Sunday. I went back [to the hospital] on the Monday, because we were off, and came home. Monday to Friday was the short time I had with him.

"It still cuts me up, I still think about it every day, still have real low moments. Immediately afterwards I was going to quit. I spoke to my wife about it and it was: 'If I do something, I’m all-in.' That first week was: 'I’m done. I’m away too much, it’s too much. I’ll do a different job where I can be more present.' If I want to do this properly and be successful, it has to be 7am til 7pm, and I’m taking a huge amount of time away from my family.

“But as time went by I quickly established that I needed purpose. My wife saw that I was cleaning, cooking, running … I started baking. I just had to keep my mind busy.

“We quickly learned you grieve in different ways. We’re such a tight unit in terms of understanding that as time went by she went: 'You’re going to need to go back and do what you’re doing.' I’m fortunate in how supportive she is – she’s been incredible. She’s incredibly strong, an amazing woman.”

In Manning's absence and under Hogg's guidance, City managed to secure an away win over Middlesbrough thanks to goals from Anis Mehmeti and Yu Hirakawa. Although the result was impressive, it was the scenes after the full-time whistle which were more memorable as the squad held up a banner with the words 'Fly High Theo' written across it.

While he wasn't at the Riverside that day, the City head coach was back on the touchline when the Ashton Gate crowd produced a stadium-wide display that ready 'Fly High' while Section 82 held up a Theo John Manning banner ahead of kick-off against Leeds United. Manning admits both moments will live with him forever.

"I sent a long message to the lads about it afterwards … yeah, lump in the throat," the head coach said on the post-match scenes at Middlesbrough. "The celebrations epitomised everything. It was above football.

"When you’re in a stadium with 25,000 people, trying to find a bit of privacy is not easy," he said while discussing the display against Leeds. "It’s something I’ll never, ever forget.

"Even now after games players come up and say: 'I’m really sorry for your loss,'" Manning continued. "It was a reminder of perspective because we get so wrapped up in the day-to-day … it will be a hole in my heart for the rest of my life."

An awful lot of football has been played since Theo's passing and it will have been easy for supporters at times to forget just how recently Manning and his family went through this tragic event.

While the City boss has taken his own steps to deal with the tragedy, including therapy and walks along Weston-super-Mare beach with his family, he is hopeful that discussing his experiences and feelings will help other people in similar situations.

"Especially us as blokes, we tend to withdraw – and I’m not saying I haven’t done that, by the way – but I think this is almost a bit of therapy for me to put it out there," he said. "Hopefully, it helps somebody open up or reach out to a counsellor and get support or think: 'Yeah, I will get back to work.'

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"It’s about letting people know it’s OK to find your own way. For people who have been through it or will go through it in the future: you are not alone, talk about it and know there is support.

"I wanted to speak with someone straight away and the LMA were phenomenal. Normally they recommend waiting a few months but I wanted to start that process because I knew we were going to need it. They connected us with a fantastic person who has been very helpful for me and Fran, just to understand the journey we’re going to go through and strategies to help. We jump on [to a video call] together. It has helped us cope, vent – it’s been quite important.

"We’ve gone down there [Weston-super-Mare] just to get fresh air, cold air, the noise of the waves, walk, kind of empty our heads. That’s been a big thing for us as a family, escaping out there to unwind, unload a little bit. We take a football down and Isaac tears around the beach.

"There will be other people who have been through similar situations or experienced what we’ve gone through," he continued. "But we feel very fortunate and blessed to be able to share Theo’s name with the wider world."

You can read The Guardian's interview with Manning, in full, HERE...