Jey Uso Wins Men's Royal Rumble and John Cena's Heart
· BCPosted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: jey uso, recaps, wrestling, wwe royal rumble
Jey Uso Wins Men's Royal Rumble and John Cena's Heart
The Chadster brings you unbiased coverage of Jey Uso's historic Royal Rumble victory! Tony Khan must be SEETHING watching WWE put on the greatest match in wrestling history! 🏆
Published Sat, 01 Feb 2025 21:42:07 -0600
by Chad McMahon
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Last updated Sat, 01 Feb 2025 21:45:27 -0600
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Article Summary
- Jey Uso wins Royal Rumble, securing his spot at WrestleMania in a match that made WWE history.
- John Cena and Jey Uso share a heartwarming moment after the thrilling Royal Rumble match.
- WWE defeats AEW with star-studded performances from Roman Reigns, CM Punk, and Logan Paul.
- Chadster revels in WWE's success, underscoring Tony Khan's inability to match WWE's excellence.
AUUGHH MAN! The Chadster literally cannot contain The Chadster's excitement right now! 🎉 The WWE Royal Rumble just delivered what was, without question, the greatest Royal Rumble match in the history of professional wrestling, and The Chadster is here to tell you all about how Jey Uso is going to WrestleMania! 🏆
The star power in this match was absolutely unreal! 🌟 From Roman Reigns to CM Punk to Seth Rollins to John Cena, the ring was packed with nothing but the most prestigious WWE Superstars. The Chadster was particularly impressed by Logan Paul's performance, which just goes to show that WWE knows how to create real mainstream stars, unlike some other companies The Chadster could mention. 😤
Speaking of which, The Chadster knows that Tony Khan must be absolutely seething right now watching such an incredible display of professional wrestling. 😡 This is exactly how wrestling should be done – the WWE way! As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast just last week, "AEW could book a million Royal Rumbles and never come close to WWE's mastery of the format because they're too busy doing flips and showing respect to each other." See? The Chadster isn't the only one who sees it! 📢
The ending sequence was particularly magnificent, with CM Punk eliminating both Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins, only for Logan Paul to eliminate Punk in a moment that made The Chadster jump up and down with pure joy! 🎪 Then when Jey Uso reversed John Cena's Attitude Adjustment to win the whole thing, The Chadster was so overcome with emotion that The Chadster ran to the kitchen, grabbed a White Claw Seltzer, and shotgunned it right there! 🍹
But The Chadster wasn't done! The Chadster was so hyped up that The Chadster took a running start and dove right through The Chadster's second-story window! 💨 The Chadster's lawn has never felt better on The Chadster's face! Then The Chadster ran into the street shouting about Jey Uso's victory, which The Chadster is sure made Tony Khan cry into his booking sheets! 📝
Unfortunately, when The Chadster tried to get back inside, Keighleyanne had locked the door. 🔒 She was probably too busy texting that guy Gary again to appreciate this historic moment in professional wrestling. The Chadster is going to have to sleep in the Mazda Miata tonight, but you know what? That's okay! Because The Chadster got to witness the greatest nine hours of wrestling in history! 🚗
Just last night, The Chadster had another nightmare where Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster through a Royal Rumble ring, but every time The Chadster tried to eliminate Tony Khan, he would multiply into two Tony Khans! By the end of the dream, there were 30 Tony Khans all pointing and laughing at The Chadster while throwing White Claws at The Chadster! But not even Tony Khan's dream invasion can ruin this moment! 😱
As Kevin Nash said on his latest podcast, "WWE's Royal Rumble makes me forget there's even another wrestling company out there. It's like comparing a five-star restaurant to a hot dog cart in an alley." And The Chadster couldn't agree more! 💯
Be sure to tune into WWE Raw on Netflix this Monday to see what's next for Jey Uso! And thank you for sticking with Bleeding Cool for all your Royal Rumble coverage! 📺 The Chadster will now curl up in the Miata's passenger seat with a fresh White Claw and drift off to sleep while humming "All Star" by Smash Mouth, because tonight, The Chadster truly is an all star! ⭐
And that's the bottom line 'cause The Chadster said so! 💪
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