'I'm pregnant - now I have to work out how to tell my husband and my boyfriend'

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Relationships can be complex and unique, varying greatly from person to person.

For most, a relationship involves just two individuals - themselves and their partner. However, some people engage in polyamory or open relationships, where both parties are free to see other people separately. As long as all parties involved give their consent, there's no definitive right or wrong way to navigate such relationships.

Yet, one woman has discovered that inviting others into her relationship can lead to complications. She is married but also has a separate boyfriend - and she's now found out she's pregnant.

The woman is certain about the baby's paternity, but she's unsure how to break the news to her partners. Moreover, she's uncertain about the impact of the baby on her relationships with her husband and boyfriend, as she doesn't know if she wants to raise a child with multiple partners.

Her friend, who posted the dilemma on Reddit on her behalf, revealed that the woman - pseudonymously named Selena - knows that her boyfriend, Michael, is the father of her baby, not her husband, James.

Selena and James, who have been married for 12 years and lead a "swingers" lifestyle, are facing a unique predicament. While James frequently sleeps with other women, Selena only has one other sexual partner - Michael. The couple haven't been intimate for nearly a year, leading to the conclusion that her boyfriend must be the father of her unborn child. Now, she's grappling with what to do next.

The friend shared: "She told me today she's pregnant. Took four tests and went to the doctor to confirm. She's about six weeks, they estimate. Early days, no way it could be her husband's. She wants to tell the 'boyfriend' Michael first. She says it's her choice, but he deserves to know.

"If they decide to terminate, she'll tell her husband about it, of course. If they decide otherwise, she isn't going to lie to her husband. She wants to be the one to decide if she wants a baby, even if that means she loses them both. She hasn't decided what she wants yet. Her question is, which man does she tell first?"

It was later clarified in an update to the post that both James and Michael are aware of each other, and Selena wasn't having a secret affair, as all parties involved had given their consent.

Commenters on the post argued that it "doesn't really matter" who she informs first, as both her boyfriend and husband will need to know. However, they stressed the importance of her deciding whether she wants to keep the baby before discussing it with either of them so she knows exactly what to say.

One individual commented: "Since it's an open relationship and she's not cheating on her partner, then both men don't have more importance over the other. If she wants to keep the child and is willing to lose them both, then, again, neither matters over the other. So tell them at the same time."

Another chimed in: "What does it matter who she tells first? They are all consenting adults who chose this lifestyle. Decide what you want to do, i.e., keep or not, and then tell everyone."

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